Riff Raff teaching Frank how to drive
by opheliafrump
Summary: Not the best fan fiction title, but this is probably the post precise and accurate title I have ever called my stories. ONESHOT R&R. Declaimer - Ritz owns Riff Raff and Frankie.


_Not sure if there are any stories out there about Riff Raff teaching Frank how to drive... I just passed my full driving license exam today! (I had my novice license for 6 years, should have taken the exam 4 years ago, but I was too lazy.) So, to celebrate, I am going to write about driving! (I don't drive manual, but automatic is just too easy to handle by Frank... Forgive me if I make any mistake.)_

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Once upon a time, an alien space-castle landed in the town of Denton. Inside, there were three aliens, Prince Frank N Furter and his two servants, Riff Raff and Magenta. The three started to explore the town and they found a pick up trunk with a dead blond teenager inside, possibly died of a drug overdose. Riff Raff got on the trunk and immediate taught himself how to drive it back to the castle. When they got home, the two servants threw the blond young man into the giant freezer. The two wanted to dispose the body, but Frank said he had something planned for this good-looking Earthling. The pick up trunk became their main way of transportation on Earth, besides walking. Riff Raff was the only one who drove, until one day...

"Teach me how to drive."

"What?" Riff Raff asked. He was working in the lab.

"I said, 'Teach me how to drive'. Are you deaf or something?" Frank repeated himself.

"Go teach yourself. I taught myself," Riff Raff complained. He couldn't imagine being in a tiny space with the prince, alone.

"I want you to teach me," Frank refused. He thought, _I already tried and it wouldn't move._

"Fine," Riff Raff realized there was no reason to say no to the prince. He was the servant after all, "but I want Magenta in the truck too!"

"Why no? She will learn too," The two went to the kitchen to get Magenta and then the three got out of the house. Frank got on the driver's seat, Riff Raff next to him and Magenta in the back seat.

"Put your foot on the clutch," Riff Raff said.

"Clutch? What the burning hell is a clutch?" Frank asked.

"There are three pedals down there, the first one is the clutch," Riff Raff said, "The middle is the brake and the third is accelerator."

"Left or right?" Frank asked.

"Left first," Riff Raff added.

Frank stepped on the accelerator.

"LEFT, not right!" Riff Raff yelled.

"I AM STEPPING ON THE LEFTEST PEDAL!" Frank screamed back.

"Master. You can't tell left from right?" Magenta asked.

"I can!" Frank wouldn't admit it.

"This is left and this is right," Magenta first tapped Frank's left shoulder then his right.

"That's what I did!" Frank shouted.

"Ok now. Step on the clutch," Riff Raff restarted.

"Done," Frank said.

"Move the gear to N," Riff Raff said, "And gear is the ball stick on your right side."

"There is no N on the stick," Frank protested.

"N is for neutral, the middle position," Riff Raff said.

Frank kept moving it around and didn't quite get the idea of middle. Riff Raff took the gearshift from Frank and moved it to N and turned the key instead of giving instructions. He then changed the gear to first and released the packing brake.

"Now push down the third pedal and release the first one. Slowly," Riff Raff instructed.

Frank let go of both pedals, the truck moved forward and the engine complained by stalling. Stalling meant the truck moved forward and choked, again and again. It freaked Frank out. He quickly stepped back on the clutch and Riff Raff changed gear back to Neutral and applied the parking brake. "You are a horrible instructor!" Frank screamed, "You suck at teaching!"

"I am not! You are a horrible student!" Riff Raff screamed back.

"I am smart and beautiful!" Frank shouted.

"Bitch," Riff Raff whispered to himself.

"What did you call me?! You are fired!" Frank overheard.

"Oh, good. Now I am free to do anything but your dumb projects," Riff Raff clapped his hands.

"You are fired as my driving instructor, not fired as my servant," Frank changed his mind, "If you say you are a good instructor, why don't you teach Magenta how to drive?"

"ME?" Magenta squealed.

"Yes. If Riff Raff can teach you how to drive, I will agree he is a good instructor and I am just too evolved to drive. If he can't, then he is just a bad instructor," Frank explained his logic, and at the same time, bragged about his genius. Either way, he won.

"Okay, get off the truck, I am taking your seat," Magenta said. She switched places with Frank.

She stepped on the clutch, changed gear to first, released the parking brake, stepped on the accelerator and released the clutch. The truck moved forward.

"Great job Magenta! And you figured that out all by yourself!" Riff Raff praised.

"It's not fair, she knew how to drive!" Frank complained.

"No, I did not. I was listening when Riff was giving you instructions!" Magenta protested.

"Now, get off and let me drive!" Frank would not admit he was bettered by Magenta.

"Not now, master, let me finish teaching Magenta and then you can learn from her. She will be your instructor," Riff Raff found a way out of the situation. Magenta softly hit Riff Raff's thigh.

"Okay, press on clutch, release accelerator, change gear to two, press on accelerator and release the clutch," Riff Raff taught Magenta how to speed up.

Magenta slowly picked up and changed to third and then fourth gear, as she did the same for decelerating. After driving around the castle three times, she parked the truck in front of the castle.

"Magenta, you are amazing!" Riff Raff kissed Magenta's cheek.

"Ewww, INCEST!" Frank said it without knowing the real relationship behind the siblings. The two quickly separated.

"Master, it's your turn," Riff Raff announced. They switched seats, Riff Raff in the back, Frank in driver's seat with Magenta next to him.

"Now, change to first gear, release the emergency brake and step on the accelerator," Magenta said.

"The stick won't allow me to change from neutral to first," Frank cried.

"STEP ON THE CLUTCH!" Magenta and Riff Raff said in unison.

Frank rolled his shoulders and got off the truck, "I am just too evolved to drive... So What."

= The End =

_Sorry... Too lazy to write another chapter for Dialogue._

_BTW, although I have never driven a stick shift, this is how you really drive a stick. Hope you learn something today._

_Please leave me a review!_


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